Love Advice, Please

[Niobe]

Well, to be fair, it's a very inspiring tale.
It's just one of those where you shouldn't expect a happy ending.
It's a great book, but as with so many classics, the heroine suffers. But she was right.
Hence, literally, perhaps we should not relate it too closely to our lives.....but the theory is there!

[fluffy]

good advice........ ..........i've not read it myself..........but i love Dr Zhivago...........lol........we used to have a huge crush on out maths teacher because he looked like Omar Sharif......lol..........now he looks like Nosferatu........the years were not kind.........lol

fluffy

[Prince]

Who have been reading french roman "Madam Bovari"?






Filomena! Why does your cruel boyfriend dont want to do nothing for your happyness? Filomena! I think you dont know exactly what you realy want.And your cruel selfish boyfriend also dont know what he realy want.

[johanson]

Seems like you are getting lots of good advice here, Filomena...I don't know you or your situation, but I have experienced a few of the same things....a gambling man, an abusive man, and the bottom line is this....you have to make the changes yourself...it is good to have support from friends or family, but the cold stone reality is that no one can do what you absolutely have to do for yourself. Leaving an abusive relationship is something you must do and it is not based on convenience. There is no such thing as a convenient time to leave an abusive man. So many women wait until the husband or boyfriend gives them a good reason to leave....why wait until you have two black eyes or a broken arm? Why wait until you are so emotionally drained and wounded that you don't know what real love is? Why do women waste their lives living with these men who have no respect for them, and then leave the frying pan and move right into the fire? Your boyfriend sounds as though he is already abusing your respect with child-like games. If this boyfriend loved or respected you, he would not treat you so poorly. He will also bring you pain as your husband. Don't let love lead you blind. Open your heart and mind to see the truth and be true to yourself. You deserve better....get your heart healed and your mind healed before you venture into another relationship, and do it for yourself, nobody else. There are men out there who are kind and gentle and will not treat you badly...you won't find him if you settle for one of the others.... I wish you the best and will pray for you....

[fluffy]

Awe you put that so well ......i think you've hit the nail bang on the head...........There will be a decent bloke out there Fily, but you'll never find him if you're not free to look..........
stay strong hon...........

fluffy

[Prince]

Filomena s boyfriend more bad then h8usband leave him

[Filomena]

Is it a matter of finding someone? Or are we pre-destined to be with someone?

This may sound ludicrous to many people, but I believe that we all have soul mates, and that soul mates are people we meet during our formative years. However, if you don't hook up because of the wrong reasons (he's ugly, he comes from a poor family, etc, etc) then you'll end up with the wrong person and be miserable. Sometimes, you don't hook up with your soul mate because you never do get a chance to meet, because other circumanstance circumvented it. Maybe your family moved. Maybe someone made a poor career choice.

And when this happens, Destiny tries to bring you together, and your soul mate (or someone from your past) comes in and out of your life, for no apparent reason. But it's up to you to break down your resistence and recognize this person as being "the one". Revel in that feeling you get when you're with him. Don't rationalize your way out of being with that person. Follow your heart.

David is my soul mate. We could have met many many times in the past, but events happened to both of us that prevented this from happening. When we finally connected as adults, it was like an explosion, and I don't mean just in the physical sense either. He's in my blood, and the feelings I have for him are getting stronger, not weaker. Yes, he certainly sounds cruel and nasty. And that's because he emotionally cannot deal with pain. He has always had this problem. He needs to deal with this and find a way to accept things that he cannot change.

In the meantime, I'm going to try to focus on my daughters, and my dream of becoming a successful screenwriter/documentary film-maker, and god knows what else.

Everything happens for a reason. If it wasn't for my marriage to my husband, I would never have thought of writing a documentary about living with a mentally abusive man. I find it therapeutic to turn something negative into something positive.

It's all about timing. Patience and perseverence. Motivation and inspiration. Maybe even a little perspiration.

And now we can turn up the music "ooops, there goes another rubber tree, oops there goes another rubber tree plant..."

[fluffy]

Fily, i truely am in awe of your strength and courage . You seem to know your path .....and full respect to you for that..
i agree totally about the Soulmate theory.......and i'm an ardent determinist........fate has us in it's hands, we can choose to see the positive or the negative and if we are strong the positive will shine through............
full respect Fily

fluffy

[Prince]

Its very complicate! I m not expert in other peoples souls, but i understand how is difficult to care about children alone and Fifi has children.
I think better she will find other boyfriend who will propose her to marry then she can divorce with husband.Any way she is not living together her husband.

[fluffy]

relationships are so complicated.............in the olden days you got married at 16, had 5 kids and died of consumption at 32...........*sighs*............ahhhh bring back the 'good old days'..........



fluffy

[Prince]

i think Fifi dont have so much money she needs for court and advokat and also she needs moral help.