Jim Carrey Online

The Taliban Can

(Parody of Candy Man by Sammy Davis Jr.)

Taliban
Hey Taliban

”Allright, everybody down on the ground. The Taliban is here. “What kid of weapon do you want? Truck bomb, Anthrax, bunkerbuster? Anything you want, we’ll get it right tomorrow, cuz we’re the Taliban.”

Who can take a Muslim
Fill his brain with poo
Tell him mailing anthrax
Is a groovy thing to do
The Taliban
Oh the Taliban can
The taliban can
Cuz they mix the people up
And make the world look bad

The Taliban takes kids
As young as 8
Tell him that Uncle Sam is Satan
Tell him that the feds in waiting
Don’t allow no masturbatin’

They’re not hip or cool

Who can take a dimwit
Teach him how to fly
Promise him some virgins
Will be waiting when he dies
The Taliban
Oh the Taliban can

Cuz he thinks hes very special
And he’s better than you
The taliban can
Cuz they keep their women down
And make their men go bad.

Oh, man those goofy Taliban, I tell ya. Maybe if they educated their women and took their veils off they wouldn’t have so much time to fret. Although, you know, I’ve never seen the women, so maybe the veils aren’t such a bad idea, who knows?


Chris Marsh
"Fart In An Elevator"
based on Aerosmith "Love In An Elevator"
March 12, 1992 (modified 3/25/92, 8/7/99)
Me and co-worker in the elevator (oh yeah)

Got a fart that can't wait till later (oh yeah)

I think she's a sweet po-tater (oh yeah)

Hope she don't think I hate her (oh yeah)

We went out for Mexican for lunch

and I'm allergic to chili beans

So forgive me for that little stink

seeping out of my 501 jeans


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Fart in an elevator

Stuck in between two floors (yeah)

Fart in an elevator

Can't crack open the doors (no)

The air, the air, can't breathe

this just ain't fair

Fart in an elevator

Please maintenance get us on the ground


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Now I'm makin' your eyes water (oh yeah)

and you're tryin' not to breathe (oh yeah)

You wish Scotty would beam you up (oh yeah)

but you know you can't leave (oh no)

Try not to breathe too hard

'cuz my intestine is a sewer pipe

Get ready, babe, here I go again

The fruit is gettin' ripe


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Fart in an elevator

Stuck in between two floors (yeah)

Fart in an elevator

Can't crack open the doors (no)


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Gonna be a little stinker (oh yeah)

Gonna pollute the air (oh yeah)

Please don't strike a match (oh no)

You'll burn my butt bare (oh yeah)

I really am a cool dude

I really got a lot of class

It's just every once in a while

I leak a little gas


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Fart in an elevator

Stuck in between two floors (yeah)

Fart in an elevator

Can't crack open the doors (no)

The air, the air, I can't breathe

This just ain't fair

Fart in an elevator

Stuck in between two floors

Fart in an elevator

Can't crack open the doors

The air, the air, the air, the air

Fart in an elevator

Please maintenance

Get us on the ground, ound, oooouuuuuuunnnnnnd.

(fart)

LOL! Very good! Where did you find them?

The first song I got from http://www.Bobrivers.com

He has made tons of novelty songs and you can listen to them on his website and you can also make your own radio station using his songs.

Fart in an elevator I got from here http://www.angelfire.com/md/chrismarsh/elevator.html

Here are some more novelty songs

http://www.madblast.com/flash_shows/talican.cfm

http://www.seanmorey.com/mansong.html

This one I got from http://www.Strangepath.net It is also sung by Sean Morey and is sung to the same tune as the link above

The Woman Song

I'm a woman, hear me roar...

if you don't open my door

I can do anything that a man can do...

but I don't want to

Oh, the female sex has a lot more class...

unless we're lookin' at a male stripper's ass

I'm a 21st century gal...

but I can't set my VCR

Well I am not your hooker...

but you're still gonna pay

'Cause sex is a special thing ...

and a darn good weapon

Because my body belongs to me...

until I get dinner and a movie

I don't sleep around...

until I do a credit check

And I have a mind of my own...

which I change every two seconds

And I'm not afraid to ask for directions...

'cause I can't read a map

And I stand behind my man so...

I can nag him as much as I can

And I can fight in combat...

but I can't kill a spider

And I never tell a lie...

but I will fake an orgasm

'Cause I am the real McCoy...

except for my boobs and my face

And I get hot 'n sweaty...

for the opening of a new shoe store....

And I am very proud of my age...

which is none of your freakin' business

COTTON , i'M LAUGHING & LAUGHING & LAUGHING
Good ones.
THANKS

When I saw the new smiley with the guitar I thought of
a funny song but had the name wrong,
It was suppose to be:

Guitarzan and his jungle band.

Anyone remember that song????
Jane is singing : Baby, baby
The monkey is : OOOOOHHHHOOOOOOOO
I think it would make a great cartoon.
Its over 10 years old, I think??

lol "Shut up baby I am trying to sing!" - Jane from Gitarazan. I don't mean you Canadian Jayne.

Here is another song from Bob Rivers. I think Jim should sing this song.lol

Feeling Boobies

(Parody of The 59th Street Bridge Song (Feeling Groovy) by Simon & Garfunkel)


Don’t want to sound too crass
And please don’t think I’ve got no class
Just showing my testosterone
Nothin’s more fun than feelin’ boobies
Feelin’ boobies

Hello headlights how’s it goin’
You really got my juices flowin’
Ain’t no signs of gravity
Nothin’s as fun feelin’ boobies
Give me boobies

They’re a nice pair to see so wonderful to meet
From a 42 D to a 30 petite
And with whipped cream on top they’re a heck of treat
Nothin’s more fun than feelin’ boobies
Feelin’ boobies

The Taliban can really cracked me up

These aren't songs but they are extremely funny.

Dicken Cider Commercial parody

STAY AWAY IF YOU’RE EASILY OFFENDED. Remember this commercial parody?

http://www.bluehaze.com.au:8080/ramgen/dickens.ra

Here is another version http://www.youknowdamnright.org/Dickens_Cider.wav

Someone who just passed away recently that I knew really
would have appreciated the
"BOOBIES song"
I'm sorry I could not share it with him.
Thanks for sharing it with me though.
I will share it with his family.
We'll all have a good laugh.

I love when people put down the Papparazzi

Media Killed the Royalty Star

(Parody of Video Killed the Radio Star by The Buggles)

We fell in love with Princess Di in Eighty-two
The press was photographing
Everything she’d do
They tracked her everywhere
From here to Timbuktu
Oh wah oh wah
They took their photos
No respect for privacy
Using the latest in gymnastic malarchy
Then they chased her through the streets of gay Paris
Oh wah oh wah
They act like children
Oh wah oh wah
Some one should tell them

Media killed the royalty star
Media crashed the royalty’s car
The paparazzi go to far
Oh uh uh oh
I’m in the checkout line
It’s moving rather slow
I glance around
and see the tabloids down below
Those slimy bastards
they’ll never get my dough
Oh wah oh wah
They are the worst scum
Oh wah oh wah
You shouldn’t buy them

Media killed the royalty star
Media crashed the royalty’s car
The princess’ death
has broke our hearts
The paparazzi went to far
It’s time to stop harassing stars
And drunken chauffeurs
Shouldn’t be driving their cars

To far
They go to far
To far
They know who you are

Media killed the royalty star
Media crashed the royalty’s car
Media killed the royalty star
Media crashed the royalty’s car
Media killed the royalty star
Media crashed the royalty’s car

I think never smoke weed with willy agian and the taliban song are pretty funny. they usually make me laugh. I love toby keith!!!

http://uploads.ungrounded.net/196000/19 ... Peach_.swf

click here its not a song..but funny

I stopped it when the girl went down,
I can imagine

Thanks for the link. That was soo funny!

MAMA MIA!!!!!!-

does anybody know the DR.DEMENTO show?
there have sometimes been really strange and funny songs on it.-
don`t know if the show still exists?!-